Loyal in Ur Way

In silence, I try to call Your name gently
Torn between mortification and yearning
I take a little peek at the thin notes of Raqib and Atid
No wonder that this being feels covered in darkness
Because God has extremely disappointed
I’m certain that God will surely forgive me
But until the umpteenths breathe
God still haven’t answered my prayers
It might be because the pride is still getting high
Looks like I need a more effective charger
Because this longing, I can’t ignore it any longer

This indignity is fading slowly
Replaced by unfathomable faith
I know that You have Your own secret, Lord

But now I have a doubt
Maybe the immensity of your mercy
Is limited only for your chosen ones
I doubt that I’m Your chosen one
Maybe the compassion you promised
Is limited only for those who are devoted to you
I doubt that I’m not devoted

Now in a dark cold glasses
Probing, searching, dreaming of the Grace
Hoping You’ll come to me
O Lord, even in the scattered pieces that I am
I’m still wishing for You
Even though I’m trapped in a pond of mire
I’m still fighting to get to the other side
Trying to wash it all away
And trying to execute it all:
I consent that Islam be my religion
I consent that Allah be my god
I consent that Muhammad be my prophet

Though it’s still not as sturdy
I deliberately intend
To be in Your way only
Though I’ve been far away from Your rail
I wish to be forever with you
The one true love that I long for until the end of the day